The surgical consult

I go to work and plan to meet Sheila at the hospital at 2:30. We arrive at Dr. reddy's office and he again talks to us like adults and oozes of confidence. We are realistic about our the situation but cannot help but be hopeful.

For the first time, we hear that chemotherapy is not a predetermined component of Madelyn;s treatment. We are scheduled for a bone scan on 12/20/2006 at noon. Here is what we took from the meeting:

If there is no bone involvement as identified in the bone scan, then the procedure to biopsy the tumor, previously understood to be a possible aggressive resection (surgical removal) of the tumor, may be less aggressive. If there is involvement, then aggressive resection of the primary tumor inthe chest would be considered keeping in mind that her success in surgery is paramount. If this occurs where there is no bone involvement, depending on what is found in surgery we may be in a "wait and see" mode. WOW! The fact that chemotherapy may not be a foregone conclusion is a surprise to us and our spirits are lifted. If there is bone involvement, then cheno would most likely be in order, but we have been prepared for this all along. So there is no bad news in my mind, only reality and wht we are going to do to cure my baby.

We had been working on the plan that surgery would be on Friday. We are surprised to get our OR date moved up to Thursday at 7:30 (less than 36 hours from now). Drs. Reddy and Adkins will both be in on the surgery, and by this time I can hardly restrain my hopeful thoughts.

I again look at Madelyn. I love this child. Sounds ordinary and common but it is anything but. I have asked to trade places with this child so many times. In a short while, she will be lying on a cold operating room table with a tube in her throat, a chest tube for drainage, and a scalpel approahing her skin to open her chest cavity to the open air. I have never experienced this. I am 34 years old. She will be 3 months old tomorrow. My heart truly aches. I have had pain in my chest today. I am undoubtedly sick about this and only pray that God's will is that this child will someday know how much her mother and I love her and grow up just as we envisioned when we asked God to bring her to us.